Don't Fart in Bed!
Don't Fart in Bed!
Don't fart in Bed
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in there marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, 'Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.'
'What do you mean?' asked his wife.
'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!!!
If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in there marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, 'Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.'
'What do you mean?' asked his wife.
'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!!!
Deadi
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Buckmaster
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Re: Don't Fart in Bed!
"I love it when a plan comes together"
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Re: Don't Fart in Bed!
I hate you DeadI, I have a broke rib and it hurts so bad to laugh but i cant help it.
Good post
Good post
keep her tween the ditches(rdneck for be safe)
you cant tell a rdneck what to do (coach Starnes)
"women stay at home, cook dinner, have our babies and bring me a beer when i holler for it" coach starnes again
you cant tell a rdneck what to do (coach Starnes)
"women stay at home, cook dinner, have our babies and bring me a beer when i holler for it" coach starnes again
Re: Don't Fart in Bed!
I just read that to my wife before reading it completely through myself. All she said was, "Ewwwwwwww...that is so gross!"
I still can't stop laughing
I still can't stop laughing
It ain't the size of the gun but the placement of the bullet.
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HighLander
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TheGreatwhitehunter
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jersey boy
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Re: Don't Fart in Bed!
Im sitting in class and im laughing and i keep get all these looks
im a jersey boy becomin a utah boy!!!